Fall is Change

Fall is the time of year I like to look back at the changes that have occurred and prepare for the long nights to come. Seasonal Anxiety and Depression is real for me during the winter months, but being mindful of where I have come from and what is ahead allows me to dispel those negative thoughts, to take control of my life. An additional layer of excitement and unrest stirs within me this year, as 2025 has proven to be the most challenging year I have tackled.

Aside from trials and tribulations that we as a collective world are witnessing, I have found myself at the end of corporate layoffs from an organization which I poured myself into for four years. Emotions of all shapes, sizes, and appearances stare me down and I gaze right back, knowing I can take on this next challenge. As I begin this new chapter, I find it only fitting to take a moment and reflect on some of the things that will aide me as Fall, much like all four seasons, remind me that the only thing constant in life is change. 

New Career

”When one door closes, another opens.” This phrase, or some variation of it, has been uttered to me by several people across my social networks. In the midst of processing the termination of my position, I can’t help but to be bitter, hurt even. The truth is that these folks were not attempting to provoke anger in me, rather they were showing compassion and empathy for my situation. Now, with my first full week into my depature, I can begin to recognize and identify the excitement of these new, open doors. One thing I am grounding myself in is making sure to look through the door to get a preview of what is past the threshold before proceeding full force through. What I do know is as I preview the doors, I need to find a space that allows me to create, to be creative and imbue my projects with passion and flare. 

Home Decor 

Ever since I was young I loved decorating for the Holidays. Halloween specifically has always been one of the highlights of my years. I credit a lot of this to my parents who worked for several years on haunted house fundraisers in California. One year, my parents and I raked leaves into trash bags and created a large spider on our front porch to greet trick-or-treaters that year. 

As I have grown, this excitement has only grown to decorate to match the season. A light up and noise making haunted house and ghost ship act as center pieces in the living room. Currently my stair case is adorned with various plush Mickey Mouse clothed in different halloweens. I also have Pluto who is wearing a skeleton costume and is complete with a candy basket hanging from his mouth. I have created our own Halloween Town in our entertainment room, which has been an audience to Hocus Pocus, Agatha All Along, and Trick-or-Treat this season. It’s been difficult not to add another ornament of sorts to the house, but that is one of the changes that I’m undertaking during this career exploration. 

Pokémon

Halloween classics is not the only viewing experience my Halloween Town is enjoying. Pokémon Legends: Z-A came out earlier this month and I have enjoyed every moment of it. I remember several weekends sitting at the top of the steps of my house in California playing Pokémon Red into the wee hours of the evening, usually being told by my mom to go to bed. Pokémon Legends: ZA has been such a blessing during this time of change for me. Having Totadile and Starmie follow me around Lumiose city has the 10 year old in me glowing with enthusiasm. The story and characters made me remember the simplicity of Pokémon games I played as a youngster and how they are now tackling themes of how we are all on a process of evolution to be our best selves; a very timely message for this 33 year old. This game makes me very excited to be a Pokémon fan. 

Baking 

Not all changes are personally our own. Sometimes, we are brought onto a new adventure because of our social network. My youngest brother has recently obtained his cottage license and is now making his dream of owning his own bakery a reality. He is continuously trying new recipies and testing different ingredients to achieve his desired results. My brothers have all inspired me to be the best I can be. However, this latest endeavor of my youngest brother has forced me to look deep in myself. If he can will his dreams into reality, that why can’t I? Why can’t we all? I could ponder that inquiry for longer than I have on this earth, I need to recognize I have all the proof that I need to bake myself into a masterpiece of my own vision. 

Holidays 

As mentioned, holidays are a special time. My mom took holidays seriously in my youth. My parents would host Halloween and Christmas parties where everyone was invited, ensuring to extend personal invites to folks who we learned didn’t have close families. Christmas parties were filled with roaring laughter, hours of games, and the aroma of peppers and velveeta from the holiday spaghetti fills the already crisp pine air. Even when we moved away from our family and friends to Minnesota, we found our own traditions. One that we still practice today is our annual nerf gun fight after Thanksgiving dinner (although we did it the day after and I got to host it for the first time at my own house!) Holidays are a time for us to count the blessings we have received from the year and be grateful to experience another day with those who we cherish. That’s worth more than money or gold. 

Writing

This was the first year I have ever pitched a novel! Although the results were not finically beneficial and I don’t have my own television series yet, I learned important lessons regarding publishing, pitching, and about my book. I have poured more into my writing this year since I was a student. Through this action, I remembered the true joys the writing process can be and the resiliency it instills in me. I recently showed my “current” draft to a coworker of mine and feel more confident in my books direction. I aim to start pitching the finished book the end of this winter/early spring. Additionally, I am challenging myself to write more. Blogs, reviews, creative pieces, prose, and poetry, all are areas that can help me be the best writer I can be. I talk the talk a lot, but now I need to walk the walk. 

Relationships 

This change in the air has made me reflect on the importance of the many relationships I am so grateful to have, the ones that may have very well ended, and the ones that are to come. From family to friends, I feel that each relationship is in a constant state of change. We can choose to continue the same path or nurture the relationship to grow into something that better reflects both parties needs and desires. I am doing better to ensure that my personal health and personal boundaries are part of these relationships now, something that I would usually ignore in my younger years. In my previous position, making connections and establishing relationships with the new hires that I orenited into the organization was important, I took pride in ensuring that folks felt like the belonged. I think the inherent need to belong is a deep-seeded desire of every human, especially when we are coming into a new space in which we hope to navigate with as little difficulty as possible. This change also makes me so appreciative for the love and support from my family, friends, and partner who continue to remind me each day that this change will only be temporary and I will be better on the other end of it. Everything works itself out. 

Entertainment 

Pokémon has somehow magically taken 45 hours of my life in its first four days of release. However, entertainment has always been something I’ve been pulled to. This was one of the reasons I studied English in my undergrad where I carefully analyzed themes, literary styles, and genres. Each book or essay I read introduced me to a kaleidoscope of characters and cultures which furthered my understanding this multicultural world in which I am a citizen. This enjoyment of learning about different perspectives led me to follow many YouTubers who analyze and breakdown content to fully understand the whole. Individuals like Jessica Clemsons, Erik Voss, and Ryan Arey are a few that come to mind that create video essays and analyze important pop culture elements within the realm of Sci-Fi and Super Hero movies, which makes me feel like I’m right back in my contemporary film studies course. 

Analysis allows us all to see how any creative work comments on our shared world, locally and globally. As I recognize the changes occurring in my own life, I reflect on how far we have come in terms of entertainment, especially personal entertainment. As we near what feels like the end of the streaming wars, I’m curious if we are truly going to watch movie theaters disppear.

Being American 

It’s hard not to think of being an American when the concept of change is discussed. I remember my advanced placement United States History with on image: a white hooded figure covering the identity of a man sitting upon a horse who was also clad in white. It was a cold evening in my basement room when I was pouring over the textbook as I learned about the lynching and other atrocities carried out by folks dressed like this individual. I thought of them doing harm to my friends and family, and how this knowledge gave me greater perspective to what my rights are, what am I able to do in the land of the free. As conversations centering around birthright citizenship, genocide, marriage equality, due process and other topics play in the news cycle, I recognize that we have so much more to do as a country and as a global society to truly have a world where we can feel safe in this world where none of us chose to call home. 

Authentic Me

I think we all have several talents that make us uniquley us. One of mine that I have been praised by folks time and time again is my unrelenting authenticity. In truth, I’m always a bit confused when I hear this. Folks say I’m authentic but I get lost in trying to identify who I actually am. I feel like I’m in constant flux. I think it is because I see more light than shadow in this world which allows me to connect with any person. I can be fully authentic when I remember to always be pursing the dream. This blog alone is testament to that. I am one of the many lifelong learners in this world. And despite knowing that I will only gather but a grain of sand of knowledge this world has to offer, I follow my own treasure map and will share with anyone who also has insatiable curiosity.